Judgemental

There's nothing too late when it comes to judging a person.
Before you say something about someone, take everything that you know about the person into account.
If you think you don't have that 'everything', I mean enough information, do not make any judgement about him or her.
Even God does not judge and punish a person until the one dies.
How do you know things God does not know?

As a mere human being, it's not easy not to give up in the temptation to judge others.
Thinking someone is a bad person and deciding not to talk with him is easy.
That would be the easiest way that you can take when you don't like somebody.
But it is really difficult to see what's going on from the other side of his behavior.
The one you don't like is a son or daugher of someone.
His bad look is maybe because he is suffering from deep sorrow since he lost his mother yesterday.  
Everyone has a bad hair day.

Before you judge somebody, did you make enough effort to understand him?
If your answer is no, I would rather say 'shame on you.'

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/18 15:05 | 트랙백 | 덧글(1)

You skiers!

I have a one whole free weekend, which is very rare case for me.
Sadly I don't have any specific plan to make the best and wisest use of the golden weekend.
So what should I do...?
Asked out to my friend but she will go skiing. Asked other friend and she will go skiing too.
Why are they so crazy about skiing?
Is it legal that we have to go skiing in winter?
I should learn skiing in comming winter. It's already February and too late to start learning winter sport.

I changed the blog privacy setting.
I don't need evil visitors who just scribble down anything they want.
You want to say something? Then go to your place and write down anything you want to cry out.
Please keep down evil fingers down while reading mine. Okay?

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/18 14:52 | 트랙백 | 덧글(1)

[211호] 냥이테라피 후, 동양골동총각 양과자점에 가다

멈추지 않는 식욕을 고민하며, 혹시나 하고 다녀온 냥이 테라피
처음에는 과연 될까? 싶었는데 말이지.  
게다가 522호 그분은 무려 고양이가면!을 쓰고 계셨고 말이야.
하지만 테라피가 끝나고, 어쩐지 몸도 마음도 한결 가벼워진 것 같다.

이제야말로 죄책감 없이 더 많이 먹어버릴테다! 라고 생각하며..
일단 편의점으로 갔다.

편의점 문을 열었는데.

내가 지금 뭘 잘못 본건가?

저번의 그 귀여운 아가씨와 점장님이....

편의점 계산대는 멀찍이 버려둔 채 가게에서 고기를 구워먹고 있다!

심지어 이 냄새는 한우! 한우 A++등급!

냄새에 끌려 가까이 다가가자, 그들의 대화 소리가 들려왔다.

"아, 점장님 오늘도 한우인가요?"

"오늘은 로스로 준비했어..하하하하"

매...매일 점심이 한우인건가?  뭐 이런 말도 안되는...

게다가 점장님의 저 등에서는'방해하지마 다가오지마' 오오라가 100만 광년 밖에서도 보일 기세로 뿜어져 나오고 있다.

어쩔 수 없이...1층의 '동양골동총각 양과자점'으로 발길을 돌렸다.

지난 주, 여의도의 초콜렛 전문 카페인지 뭔지에 갔다가 터무니 없는 가격과 발렌타인 데이 유럽여행 경품에

씻을 수 없는 상처만 입고 왔던 나. 설마 이곳은...아니겠지?

문을 열고 들어서자, 맛있는 파이와 타르트, 쿠키, 케이크 냄새가 퍼진다.

아, 다행이야.

역시 이곳에는 발렌타인 데이 특별! 이라고 써붙인 하트모양 초코케이크나 이니셜을 넣은 수제 초콜릿 따윈 팔지 않는군.

그딴 것, 있다면 다 밟아버릴 테다....부셔버릴 거야...(이글이글)


그런데, 다른 베이커리에는 이맘 때 있을 법한 발렌타인 스페셜 상품들이 없는 대신.

이곳에는, 메이드복을 입은 알바 (무심시크한 표정의)가 있었다.

손님이 왔어도 쳐다보지도 않는 진정한 시크녀!

난 어쩔 수 없이 직접 가서 묻기로 했다.


"여기, 무지무지하게 달아서 먹고 나면 전투 의지가 흐물흐물 사라져버리는 그런 케이크 없을까요?"












이글루스 가든 - 100인의 이누이 - 이글루스 빌...

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/10 15:32 | Egloos Villa | 트랙백 | 덧글(17)

Go Kiss the World

세상을 똑바로 보라, 그리고 세상에 키스하라.
MindTree 재단의 공동 창립자인 Subroto Bagchi가 쓴 책이다.
Go Kiss the World는 뇌일혈로 쓰러진 후, 작가의 어머니가 병으로 시달리다가 죽기 전에 남긴 말.
이 사람이 2006년에 대학 강단에서 했던 연설문은, 언제 읽어도 감동이 넘친다.

어머니는 죽기 전에 이렇게 말했다.
"While you are kissing me, go kiss the world."

세상으로 발을 딛고 나아가 이 세상 모두에게 키스해 주렴.
시각 장애를 가진 82세의 노인은 죽음의 문턱에서 삶을 돌아본 순간 그렇게 말했다.
내가 죽을 때는 어떤 모습으로 어떤 말을 남기게 될까.

Subroto Bagchi는 연설문에서 이렇게 말했다.

-모든 것은 상상에서 비롯된다. 미래를 꿈꿀 수 있다면, 미래를 창조할 수 있다. 우리가 미래를 창조해낸다면, 다른 이들이 그 미래 안에서 살아갈 것이다. 그것이 바로 성공의 본질이다. -

- 나에게 성공이란 비전이다. 숨가쁜 고통도 딛고 일어설 수 있는 힘이며, 상상력이다. 위대하지 않은 사람들에 대한 감성이며, 무엇이든 감싸안을 수 있는 모습이며, 보다 넓은 세계의 존재로 이어지는 것이다. 성공은 개인의 끈기로 이루어지며, 삶에서 얻어가는 것보다 삶에 더 많은 것을 돌려주는 것을 의미한다. 성공은, 평범한 삶의 모습 안에서 특별한 성공을 만들어가는 것이다. -

더 많은 것을 껴안고, 더 많은 것을 꿈꾸고. 
그리고 세상을 향해 키스하라. 




Go Kiss the World

I was the last child of a small-time government servant, in a family of five brothers. My earliest memory of my father is as that of a District Employment Officer in Koraput, Orissa. It was, and remains as back of beyond as you can imagine. There was no electricity; no primary school nearby and water did not flow out of a tap. As a result, I did not go to school until the age of eight; I was home-schooled. My father used to get transferred every year. The family belongings fit into the back of a jeep - so the family moved from place to place and without any trouble, my Mother would set up an establishment and get us going. Raised by a widow who had come as a refugee from the then East Bengal, she was a matriculate when she married my Father.

My parents set the foundation of my life and the value system, which makes me what I am today and largely, defines what success means to me today.


As District Employment Officer, my father was given a jeep by the government. There was no garage in the Office, so the jeep was parked in our house. My father refused to use it to commute to the office. He told us that the jeep is an expensive resource given by the government- he reiterated to us that it was not ”his jeep” but the government’s jeep. Insisting that he would use it only to tour the interiors, he would walk to his office on normal days. He also made sure that we never sat in the government jeep - we could sit in it only when it was stationary.

That was our early childhood lesson in governance - a lesson that corporate managers learn the hard way, some never do.

The driver of the jeep was treated with respect due to any other member of my Father’s office. As small children, we were taught not to call him by his name. We had to use the suffix ‘dada’ whenever we were to refer to him in public or private. When I grew up to own a car and a driver by the name of Raju was appointed - I repeated the lesson to my two small daughters. They have, as a result, grown up to call Raju, ‘Raju Uncle’ - very different from many of their friends who refer to their family driver, as ‘my driver’. When I hear that term from a school- or college-going person, I cringe.

To me, the lesson was significant - you treat small people with more respect than how you treat big people. It is more important to respect your subordinates than your superiors.

Our day used to start with the family huddling around my Mother’s chulha - an earthen fire place she would build at each place of posting where she would cook for the family. There was neither gas, nor electrical stoves.The morning routine started with tea. As the brew was served, Father would ask us to read aloud the editorial page of The Statesman’s ‘muffosil’ edition - delivered one day late. We did not understand much of what we were reading. But the ritual was meant for us to know that the world was larger than Koraput district and the English I speak today, despite having studied in an Oriya medium school, has to do with that routine. After reading the newspaper aloud, we were told to fold it neatly. Father taught us a simple lesson.

He used to say, “You should leave your newspaper and your toilet, the way you expect to find it”. That lesson was about showing consideration to others. Business begins and ends with that simple precept.

Being small children, we were always enamored with advertisements in the newspaper for transistor radios - we did not have one. We saw other people having radios in their homes and each time there was an advertisement of Philips, Murphy or Bush radios, we would ask Father when we could get one. Each time, my Father would reply that we did not need one because he already had five radios - alluding to his five sons.

We also did not have a house of our own and would occasionally ask Father as to when, like others, we would live in our own house. He would give a similar reply,” We do not need a house of our own. I already own five houses”. His replies did not gladden our hearts in that instant.

Nonetheless, we learnt that it is important not to measure personal success and sense of well being through material possessions.

Government houses seldom came with fences. Mother and I collected twigs and built a small fence. After lunch, my Mother would never sleep. She would take her kitchen utensils and with those she and I would dig the rocky, white ant infested surrounding. We planted flowering bushes. The white ants destroyed them. My mother brought ash from her chulha and mixed it in the earth and we planted the seedlings all over again. This time, they bloomed. At that time, my father’s transfer order came. A few neighbors told my mother why she was taking so much pain to beautify a government house, why she was planting seeds that would only benefit the next occupant. My mother replied that it did not matter to her that she would not see the flowers in full bloom. She said, “I have to create a bloom in a desert and whenever I am given a new place, I must leave it more beautiful than what I had inherited”.

That was my first lesson in success. It is not about what you create for yourself, it is what you leave behind that defines success.

My mother began developing a cataract in her eyes when I was very small. At that time, the eldest among my brothers got a teaching job at the University in Bhubaneswar and had to prepare for the civil services examination. So, it was decided that my Mother would move to cook for him and, as her appendage, I had to move too. For the first time in my life I saw electricity in homes and water coming out of a tap. It was around 1965 and the country was going to war with Pakistan. My mother was having problems reading and in any case, being Bengali, she did not know the Oriya script. So, in addition to my daily chores, my job was to read her the local newspaper - end to end. That created in me a sense of connectedness with a larger world. I began taking interest in many different things. While reading out news about the war, I felt that I was fighting the war myself. She and I discussed the daily news and built a bond with the larger universe. In it, we became part of a larger reality. Till date, I measure my success in terms of that sense of larger connectedness. Meanwhile, the war raged and India was fighting on both fronts. Lal Bahadur Shastri, the then Prime Minster, coined the term “Jai Jawan, Jai Kishan” and galvanized the nation in to patriotic fervor. Other than reading out the newspaper to my mother, I had no clue about how I could be part of the action. So, after reading her the newspaper, every day I would land up near the University’s water tank, which served the community. I would spend hours under it, imagining that there could be spies who would come to poison the water and I had to watch for them. I would daydream about catching one and how the next day, I would be featured in the newspaper. Unfortunately for me, the spies at war ignored the sleepy town of Bhubaneswar and I never got a chance to catch one in action. Yet, that act unlocked my imagination.

Imagination is everything. If we can imagine a future, we can create it, if we can create that future, others will live in it. That is the essence of success.

Over the next few years, my mother’s eyesight dimmed but in me she created a larger vision, a vision with which I continue to see the world and, I sense, through my eyes, she was seeing too. As the next few years unfolded, her vision deteriorated and she was operated for cataract. I remember, when she returned after her operation and she saw my face clearly for the first time, she was astonished. She said, “Oh my God, I did not know you were so fair”. I remain mighty pleased with that adulation even till date. Within weeks of getting her sight back, she developed a corneal ulcer and, overnight, became blind in both eyes. That was 1969. She died in 2002. In all those 32 years of living with blindness, she never complained about her fate even once. Curious to know what she saw with blind eyes, I asked her once if she sees darkness. She replied, “No, I do not see darkness. I only see light even with my eyes closed”. Until she was eighty years of age, she did her morning yoga everyday, swept her own room and washed her own clothes.

To me, success is about the sense of independence; it is about not seeing the world but seeing the light.

Over the many intervening years, I grew up, studied, joined the industry and began to carve my life’s own journey. I began my life as a clerk in a government office, went on to become a Management Trainee with the DCM group and eventually found my life’s calling with the IT industry when fourth generation computers came to India in 1981. Life took me places - I worked with outstanding people, challenging assignments and traveled all over the world.

In 1992, while I was posted in the US, I learnt that my father, living a retired life with my eldest brother, had suffered a third degree burn injury and was admitted in the Safderjung Hospital in Delhi. I flew back to attend to him - he remained for a few days in critical stage, bandaged from neck to toe. The Safderjung Hospital is a cockroach infested, dirty, inhuman place. The overworked, under-resourced sisters in the burn ward are both victims and perpetrators of dehumanized life at its worst. One morning, while attending to my Father, I realized that the blood bottle was empty and fearing that air would go into his vein, I asked the attending nurse to change it. She bluntly told me to do it myself. In that horrible theater of death, I was in pain and frustration and anger. Finally when she relented and came, my Father opened his eyes and murmured to her, “Why have you not gone home yet?” Here was a man on his deathbed but more concerned about the overworked nurse than his own state. I was stunned at his stoic self.

There I learnt that there is no limit to how concerned you can be for another human being and what the limit of inclusion is you can create.

My father died the next day. He was a man whose success was defined by his principles, his frugality, his universalism and his sense of inclusion.

Above all, he taught me that success is your ability to rise above your discomfort, whatever may be your current state. You can, if you want, raise your consciousness above your immediate surroundings. Success is not about building material comforts - the transistor that he never could buy or the house that he never owned. His success was about the legacy he left, the memetic continuity of his ideals that grew beyond the smallness of a ill-paid, unrecognized government servant’s world.

My father was a fervent believer in the British Raj. He sincerely doubted the capability of the post-independence Indian political parties to govern the country. To him, the lowering of the Union Jack was a sad event. My Mother was the exact opposite. When Subhash Bose quit the Indian National Congress and came to Dacca, my mother, then a schoolgirl, garlanded him. She learnt to spin khadi and joined an underground movement that trained her in using daggers and swords. Consequently, our household saw diversity in the political outlook of the two. On major issues concerning the world, the Old Man and the Old Lady had differing opinions.

In them, we learnt the power of disagreements, of dialogue and the essence of living with diversity in thinking.

Success is not about the ability to create a definitive dogmatic end state; it is about the unfolding of thought processes, of dialogue and continuum.

Two years back, at the age of eighty-two, Mother had a paralytic stroke and was lying in a government hospital in Bhubaneswar. I flew down from the US where I was serving my second stint, to see her. I spent two weeks with her in the hospital as she remained in a paralytic state. She was neither getting better nor moving on. Eventually I had to return to work. While leaving her behind, I kissed her face. In that paralytic state and a garbled voice, she said,

“Why are you kissing me, go kiss the world.” Her river was nearing its journey, at the confluence of life and death, this woman who came to India as a refugee, raised by a widowed Mother, no more educated than high school, married to an anonymous government servant whose last salary was Rupees Three Hundred, robbed of her eyesight by fate and crowned by adversity was telling me to go and kiss the world!

Success to me is about Vision. It is the ability to rise above the immediacy of pain. It is about imagination. It is about sensitivity to small people. It is about building inclusion. It is about connectedness to a larger world existence. It is about personal tenacity. It is about giving back more to life than you take out of it. It is about creating extra-ordinary success with ordinary lives.

Thank you very much; I wish you good luck and God’s speed. Go! kiss the world.

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/06 13:46 | Daily me | 트랙백

Material girl

Can't believe that I've spent over 1 million won a month..
Can't believe that my 'balance age' (measured by Wii Fit) is 40 years!

I can't, I won't.

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/05 15:45 | 트랙백

It's you, no finger pointing allowed, stupid!

Recently I feel a significant lack of will for action.
I think a lot, my mind is full of small little things which just come and go everyday..
Working on a same spreadsheet for more than a week, I feel like an idiot.
I can finish the 300-line long sheet in 2 days, but then what would be the benefit?
I get fixed amount of payment every month except for overtime work..so I don't have to work hard to finish something faster?
How stupid.
This is a task that I should complete someday and putting off will only create more hassle later, when someone pops up and speaks to me 'What's going on the file that I sent you 3 weeks ago?"
I know what I am going to face if I leave my to-do list as it increases..
Things are added to the list everyday and I am taking my time. What a hard-working, desirable employee?

These days everything seems to be losing its appeal to me.
Oh, maybe I should exclude shopping.
Surfing the web, building virtual friendship with online buddies, and mingling with strangers used to work for me.
I guess now I have to find something else that can really excite me in real world.
Move out of the virtual world and create network with real ppl.
Doing psychopath test at home- it won't do any good to me, i know.
So, put the thought into action. Open my eyes wide, speak out, be quick to move, and no more eating chips and wandering websites with sinking deep down to my big couch.
Today, your present is a gift from the God. That's why it's called 'present.'

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/04 10:28 | Daily me | 트랙백 | 덧글(2)

[211호] 빌라 탐험은 계속된다!

달늑대씨와의 인상깊은 첫 조우 후, 시오님으로부터 떡을 받았다.
아, 이곳은 정이 넘치는 곳인가! 떡이라니...아직 따스한 떡의 온기에 빠진 난 마구마구 감동을 먹고 있었다.

여튼 이제 대략 정리도 된 것 같으니, 편의점에 쥐포를 사러가기로 결정!
난..하루에 쥐포를 스무장도 먹을 수 있는 쥐포 마니아기 때문에.
이왕이면 대용량 쥐포가 좋겠는데. 편의점에서 큰 것도 팔까?

2층 복도를 걸어가다가 다시 마주친것은 또 달늑대님이었다;;
나름 화사한;; 미소로 인사드리려 했는데, 이분 자못 진지한 표정으로 내게 말을 걸었다.

"저기, 모자장수씨..아까 그것은 진검이었어요. 목검이 아니라니까요."

"아, 아까 검도할 때 휘두른 그거, 진짜 칼이었나요?"

"네...."

푸핫!
대체 나, 뭘 본거냐...-_-;;
이정도면 무신경도 도가 지나친건가. (아니면 이제야말로 고집을 버리고 안경을 쓰는 게 나을지도 ㅠ)
역시, 이분 앞에서는 이쯤에서 얼버무리고 어서 다른 곳으로 가는게 좋겠다.

"아하하하하! 어쩐지!
목검치고는 반짝거리더라고요! 뭔가 은색인거 같기도 하고?
고수시던데요! 하하하하하하하하..."

나는 자체적인 에코 효과와 페이드아웃 효과를 내려고 노력하며... 서서히 뒷걸음질로 엘리베이터 앞으로 움직였다.
에잇, 닫혀라 문!

휴, 결국..아니 일단은 편의점에 당도했다.
문을 열고 들어가보니, 알바생은 꽤 어려보이는 아가씨다.
이곳 주민이라고 했으니, 인사 정도는 해둬야겠지.

"안녕하세요. 211호 모자장수입니다."

"네~518호 로롤이에요~"


와, 정면에서 보니 반듯하게 눈썹 위를 지나가는 뱅헤어. 귀엽다!
(아니 난 여자잖앗!)
그래도 일단 친해질테다, 친해질거야. (로롤님 해치진 않아요;;)

"반가워요. ^^ 여긴 어떻게 이사오게 되셨어요?"

"아아, 흑곰님 소개로요.."

"설마, 진짜 곰인가요?"

"하하하..가서 확인해보시는 건 어떠세요?"

아니 이분, 지금 나보고 곰(일지도 모르는) 사람(이 아닐지도 모르는) 댁에 가보기를 권유하는건가.
그렇지만 무언가 의구심을 품기에는 너무 산뜻한 저분의 미소...
게다가 뭐지. 이 견딜수 없이 피어오르는 궁금증은! 점점 머릿속이 곰으로 가득차는 것 같아!
마치 자기 전 울타리를 뛰어넘는 양 한마리 양 두마리처럼..
내 머릿속엔 꿀단지에 손을 담근 곰 한마리 곰 두마리가 걷잡을 수 없이 증식하고 있었다. 

나는 슬금슬금 음료수 냉장고쪽으로 발을 옮겼다.
그리고 어느새 잡은 것은...<정식품 썬몬드- 자연담은 꿀물>.
이거야. 이거면 안전하게 확인할 수 있지 않겠어.
좋아 가는거야~~~

10분 후, 419호 앞에 선 내 왼손에는 거대한 쥐포 더미가, 오른손에는 자못 비장한 <자연담은 꿀물> 한 병이 들려 있었다.

"딩동~" (그런데 벨은 무슨 손으로 누른걸까요..)

어, 아무도 없는건가. 영 반응이 없다.

"저기 여기요! 흑곰님 댁 아닌가요? 저는 211호 모자장수라고 하는데요!!"

나름 목소리를 가다듬고 최대한 상냥하게;;; 소리를 질렀다.

덜컹, 손잡이가 돌아가는 소리가 들린다.

고...곰인걸까...

떨린닷!





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여기까지 쓰고, 다음은 흑곰님이 써주시면 안될까요? 하하핫~
역시 전 저지르기만 하는 무책임한 인간일까요~ >ㅁ<

부탁드립니다~












이글루스 가든 - 100인의 이누이 - 이글루스 빌...

by 모자장수 | 2009/02/02 14:11 | Egloos Villa | 트랙백 | 덧글(18)

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